The Case for Dating Men in Their '60s

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Been with a man and later found out he was getting married after 4 yrs. My mom never remarried. By age 40 you know who you are and what you have to offer the world — there is no longer any need to apologise for being you. Throw in a set of traditional Asian parents with particular expectations and you got a more stressful life.

The best men were always the farmers and fishermen. Some people want marriage at a younger age, but simply lack the social skills necessary to meet the right person. If you want love, however, the first step in finding it is to get out of your own way.

10 things no one tells you about dating men in their 50s

In their twenties men want to have as much sex with as many different women as possible. Sometimes that will be you. Sometimes it won't be. If you manage to settle down with one in their thirties you'll still spend time tinkering with their training wheels, coaching them through their careers, mothering them, and turning them into the men they want to be. Of course in their forties and fifties all of that hard work will be undone in a blazing crisis of self that returns them squarely to stage one, armed this time with enough Viagra to pre-empt their premature excitement. For these reasons and others, my friend Megan O'Brien, a successful woman in her own right as the founder of the marketing agency Beauty Brander, almost exclusively dates men in their sixties and older. We recently attended a wedding in Palm Springs together, a fancy affair with pool parties, fireworks, and a ceremony at the Empire Polo Club where they host the Coachella music festival. I'm 33, Megan is 37, and the majority of the guests who were not relatives of the bride or groom fell somewhere squarely in between. Recently recovering from a relationship with a 65-year-old celebrity plastic surgeon in Los Angeles, Megan arrived to the wedding weekend licking her wounds, only to immediately be courted by the 72-year old uncle of the groom. Alas, it wasn't to be for Megan and Uncle Jack. Uncle Jack was away somewhere in France, but the mother of the groom put the kibosh on the whole thing. Gary was smitten over message and they met up in between Los Angeles and Palm Springs a few days later. She thinks he might be her next husband. Megan's quick-witted retort is to rattle off the names of male celebrities who are sexagenarians, septuagenarians, and even octogenarians who you would probably sleep with: Harrison Ford, 71, Clint Eastwood, 83, Jack Nicholson, 76, Robert Redford, 77. Old guys aren't my thing, but every time I ask my 30-something boyfriend to talk seriously about our future or shuffle through his apartment that has empty pizza boxes stacked on the dining room table, I can see the advantages of having had someone else remove the training wheels. Megan dates older men because, as she says, they are men. I had to train him. In middle school we had an assignment to write a letter to a famous person. I thought George H. Bush he was president at the time was the most handsome man in the world. The rest of my sixth grade class felt this way about Donnie Wahlberg. Donnie seemed like a loose cannon, much too unpredictable. Long story short, I worked really hard on my card to George H. His birthday was coming up so I did a charcoal drawing of his face and wrote a birthday message. It was a handwritten 'thank you' card from George Bush telling me I was a talented artist and a wonderful writer and to stick with it! What can we learn from this? Old men are polite and thoughtful and young guys are generally self-centered. I like a man's man. I like a strong man that was raised when it wasn't abnormal to open your door, pull out your chair, and carry a heavy bag. You can call it being a gentleman but women are almost pleased or flattered when a man in his thirties does this. You shouldn't be flattered. It should be expected. I am perfectly capable of doing the above myself but a real gentleman would never even think to have me do such a thing. To treat a woman like a LADY is the norm with a man in his sixties. They don't play games. A man in his sixties is not going to wait five years or even two to commit. At this point in the game, they have their shit together and they know what they want. If they want you they're not going to make you question it. At this point in their lives most realize how fast it goes by and if you are their priority, they're going to make you know it real quick. He did all of this without any hints or prodding on my part. The bullshit factor dramatically declines as the years of their age rise. They are more thoughtful. I can speak from experience; more often than not, you will get flowers when he comes to pick you up. You will get thoughtful bouquets after a romantic evening. Leaving love notes in your purse for you to find later is another common trait of a more mature man….. They have their shit together. They have already reached the heights of their careers so you won't be a work widow. I love smart and ambitious men. This has led me to a lot of 30-something workaholics. A smart and ambitious man in his sixties is not spending so much time at the office. He's spending more time and attention on your relationship. He will be proud to be with you. Most guys in their thirties think they're doing YOU a favor by holding your hand and saying that you look beautiful. A man in his sixties will insist on holding your hand and tell you several times over how lucky he feels to be with you. What girl doesn't want that?

Meeting up for a casual drink. Being single and independent for so long can make you pretty self-serving and set in your ways. I agree that we all should take our time looking for a compatible mate to share life with in order to divert the ugliness of divorce. Finally last year for the first time ever I had a woman I was dating tell me she loved me and wanted to be with me forever. My answer is predictable: Yes… and No. But I find myself in a difficult position today, in limbo between my love and responsibility for my children and my desire to share my life with another adult. The worry has been elevated up as I think of how I am closing in on 40. Harvey himself, here is a little decade-by-decade insight into the minds of single men everywhere.